Friday, October 6, 2017

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson's Statement on Caling Trump a Moron



Real Fake News

This not what Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said in response to NBC reports that he called Trumpster a moron. But it is likely what he wanted to say.

Washington (APU) The Secretary of State came out from behind whatever place he goes to rue his ever having joined the current administration and read the following statement.

“There have been reports by NBC that I called Trump a moron. I cannot tell you how much I would like to say that it never happened, but I cannot say it never happened because first of all he is a moron and second of all that's what I called him. I am just sorry the moron had to find out from news reports instead of hearing it directly from the people.

Now there are those of you who think I should quit being Secretary of State because of this, but I ask you, have you ever been Secretary of State? The perks in the job are tremendous. I get to fly around the world and live the life of luxury, all provided by U. S. taxpayers who, thankfully, have no idea how much of their tax dollars I am wasting. People show me respect, and you cannot imagine how much abuse I got as head of a giant oil company whose products pollute the air, sea and ground.

While there are some negatives here, like having to outfit my wife in those atrocious Ivanka clothes there is nothing I would not do to grovel at the feet of Donnie, and he knows it. And if I have to sacrifice my dignity, so what, I never had that much to begin with so what's the loss.


I know that Trumpie wants Nikki Haley to take over my job, but unlike me she does not have vast foreign policy experience. Although we both are unqualified for any foreign policy job I have at least five days, maybe a whole week more time on the foreign policy job than she does. So I am going to punish Trumpie by making him keep me on, and if the whole country has to suffer,so be it.

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