Conservatives, Fuming That There Might Not Be a War with Iran, Have a Secret Plan

It’s Called OPC (No Not OPEC), OPC is Other People’s Children, Those Who Would Do the Dying in Another War in the Middle East

The fury that has accompanied the announcement of an interim agreement Iran is disappointing but not surprising.  First of all the agreement prevents, at least temporarily, any military action against Iran.  And it was negotiated by the hated Obama Administration, which is reason enough for Conservatives to rally against it. 

But Conservatives have absolutely no alternative plan, they have offered no other course of action and it turns out they have a secret plan of how the war against Iran would have been fought.  Here are some of the highlights, exclusively on this sight.

1. The draft would have to be re-instated to get the 500,000+ combat troops necessary.  The draft would of course have exemptions, like any man or woman whose net worth or whose parent’s net worth was greater than $200,000.

2. Those in the nation illegally would be offered the chance to sign up for combat, be placed in a privately run prison indefinitely or kicked out of the country.  After military service those who survived would then be given parts two and three of the choice, placement in a privately run prison indefinitely or kicked out of the country.

3. To pay for the war a special tax of $5,000 per person would be placed on each Medicaid recipient.  Because taxes on the wealthy, the job creators cannot be raised without endangering the economy, no person with an annual income greater than $250,000 would be asked to pay any part of the war, and the portion of their existing taxes that would ordinarily pay for national defense would be refunded.

4. In order to prevent any increase in government employment, Haliburton and any other firm whose executives contributed $100,000 or more to Karl Rove’s political operation would be awarded a minimum of $10 billion in government contracts.

5. Recognizing that Iran has oil, any peace agreement would involve U. S. control of Iranian oil.

6. In order to govern Iran the U. S. would exhume the late Shah and install him as supreme ruler.  The Shah was previously installed in Iran after the U. S. led an overthrow of the elected government in 1953, and that worked out very well.

So there it is, news found no where else, mainly because we made it up.  But it could happen.