Thursday, May 19, 2011

Mr. Gingrich to Withdraw from the Presidential Race In Order to Run for President

News That Didn’t Happen, But Could

New Gingrich today announced that he was withdrawing from the race for the Republican nomination for President in order to announce that he would be seeking the Republican nomination for President.

In a written statement Mr. Gingrich said that in order for him to run an effective campaign for the Presidency it was necessary for him to withdraw from the race.  He explained that under current election processes, his past statements would be used to discredit him and that it was simply not possible to mount a credible campaign based on what he has said in the past and the positions that he has taken.

“Withdrawing now in order to enter the campaign is the proper method to show Republican primary and caucus voters how serious I am about the race” Mr. Gingrich said.  “After I re-enter the race” he went on to say “My statements will reflect the only position I have ever taken, and any reference to past statements will not be allowed.”

A spokesman for Mr. Gingrich said that only the “liberal media brie eating Ivy League elite” would take issue with Mr. Gingrich’s position, and that if they did so it was “only because they envy the candidate’s big ideas and wish they too could generate truly great ideas instead of the partisan dribble they print every day.”  When asked to name these “big ideas” the spokesman referred the question to the candidate’s web site, whose “big ideas” page stated “content to be provided in the future”.

Mr. Gingrich is expected to post on Twitter the page on Facebook listing the blog site which contains the location and time of his announcement that he is running for President.

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